


My Experience

by orei_lee



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, DadSchlatt, Dadza, Dream Smp, Good guy Schlatt, I am so sorry, That's right, Toby Smith | Tubbo Needs a Hug, Toby Smith | Tubbo-centric, Tommy is Phil's son, TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Tubbo is sick, antique shop au??, bc tubbo deserves a little break from the angst, because best friends being your soulmates is all i accept, could be a your lie in april au, discs, i guess?, if you view any scenes as romantic, it's gonna be a sad one boys, leave, like terminally ill, no shipping at all, now back to heartbreak, only a little, piano playing, this is purely platonic, trigger warnings for child death, tubbo is schlatt's kid, uncle quackity, with the idea of music and illnesses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:00:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28764444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orei_lee/pseuds/orei_lee
Summary: "Hey, Toms?" Tubbo's voice broke him from his own thoughts, willing him to look over. However, the owner of the voice wasn't even looking back. The brunette was staring at the sky, with a soft, shy little smile. Tommy only hummed in acknowledgement, prodding him to continue. He did. "I don't think I'm ready to go yet, not anymore..."At that, the blonde had to blink, thinking about what to say back. He's never done that before. "Anymore...? What d' you mean?"Tubbo's smile widened as he finally turned to look back at his friend. His best friend. And the boy looked brighter than ever. "For the first time, I'm happy having fun. I'm not scared to go out anymore. I really like hanging out with you, so I want to stay a little longer. You'll be my friend for just a little longer, right?"Tommy didn't hesitate to say yes.OrTommy refuses to get attached to anyone. Until he meets Tubbo.Tubbo, who's a prime example of why he doesn't like getting attached.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Jschlatt & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 19
Kudos: 182





	1. Lemon Boy

**Author's Note:**

> OR or, i take the line "only tubbo is allowed to make me cry" too seriously and made this au instead of finishing my other fics chapter (it's on the way!!)
> 
> the title is inspired by 'Experience' by Ludovico Einaudi! it's one of my favorite pieces and listening to it on repeat while writing this was the best kind of fuel-  
> so for the full heart aching experience, i recommend giving it a listen! the song itself will most likely be referenced subtly-

Tommy was fifteen when he heard the bell of his fate ring. 

In the downstairs of his new home, one he'd been welcomed into at a young age, was a store. His father- _no-_ his guardian, Phil, was owner of a quant little antique shop. There, they sold all sorts of amusements and trinkets. Whether it be old books to music boxes to beautifully crafted instruments and statues, he had it all. It was small and cramped sometimes, but man, did it get attention. Tourists mostly, those who'd wander the streets in the town of L'Manburg looking for _anything_ to adore. Phil knew nearly everyone who lived in this bloody town, and they knew him. They knew his shop, and what lied inside. And with so many customers, of course, Phil would need help. 

Phil never forced his kids- _Tommy wasn't a child, though, he was just living there_ \- to help around the shop. _'Sleepy Coven'_ he called it. He liked working at home, so he could watch the boys while they were young, and make sure they were safe and guarded. He never needed a babysitter. It began with the eldest, Techno, who would often sneak downstairs to admire some of the little gifts during open hours. Mostly the daggers kept in glass encasings. The second eldest, Wilbur- two minutes younger than the first- would follow. Tommy noticed it early on, the twins stuck together like glue. He'd watch as Wilbur followed Techno into the store, though the former would find the musically inclined trinkets like a magnet. It wasn't all that surprising. They both began helping Phil out in little ways, and after a while, it became a family business. 

Tommy, who'd been eleven when he first arrived, refused to follow the others. Only for a little while, anyways. See, being the type of kid he was, finding a permanent home was beyond difficult. Tommy was loud and reckless and quite mouthy, cursing at most adults without remorse or thought. Tommy's aggressive and overbearing nature made it even harder to get along with other kids. So when Phil offered him a home, he didn't really expect to stay. 

He never wanted to leave. 

Despite their outward annoyance, the twins were incredibly protective towards the younger boy, though they'd still take him on their "adventures" in the woods behind L'Manburg. Wilbur would teach the blonde how to play most instruments he knew. 

He even made him a few record discs. Tommy refuses to admit it, but they're his most prized possessions. 

Techno, on the other hand, while much less emotionally brotherly, was an incredible role model for Tommy. He showed he cared in smaller, much subtler ways. Helping him with homework (Techno was top of his class, Tommy would brag), teaching him how to hold a weapon (Techno could kick ass, he'd also brag to anyone he didn't get along with), or just listening to Tommy when he needed to vent. Techno wasn't at all as good with feelings as his counterpart was, but his door was always left just a little open, always a sign for Tommy that if he was ever in need of his brother, Techno was there. Tommy is too stubborn to admit how much this means to him. 

Even Phil was something amazing to Tommy. Patient and encouraging, he was the definition of a father, really. Despite all of Tommy's flaws, he accepted him. _Loved_ him. Tommy never calls him dad, though, not counting the occasional slip ups. Deep down, he's the only father figure Tommy truly needs. 

So, yeah, Tommy never felt so at home other than with them. But even so, getting attached was a whole other issue. 

His whole childhood, Tommy's prepared for the worse. Abandonment, backstabbers, lies and manipulations- he's practically spedran the shitty adult department. Even kids his own age were susceptible to leaving him behind. Tommy refuses to get attached, because he knows someday, he'll never see his family again. He doesn't want to feel that pain. He refuses to feel it. Fuck it, Tommy is a big man, and nobody can hurt him unless he lets them. 

Though, his clinginess isn't easy to hide. As hard as he refuses and refutes, his family knows. And they don't bring it up, because they know Tommy loves them dearly. They don't need to hear it to know. 

He was fifteen when it began. The one person he let himself truly get attached to. The one person who he never, ever wanted to let go of, even if he had to fight the world. He was fifteen when the bell chirped above the antique shops door. He was only fifteen when his walls he's built so high up broke down. 

And he let them. 

~~~~~~~~

It was sunny outside. So sunny you could see the dust particles in the air, fluttering around old boxes and metals. Tommy did his best to sweep it all up, but eventually, he'd get bored of cleaning and simply wander the shop. 

He was in the middle of toying with a steampunk-looking chest when he heard the door open. A customer, finally! It's been such a slow day, Tommy was just itching to get some social interactions going. By that, he means to talk the ears off of a customer until Phil or Techno has to come over, apologize, and pull him away to leave them in peace. It was the highlight of Tommy's day sometimes. 

So, with a perked up face and a shit eating grin lurking, Tommy turned and poked his head around the corner to see who'd been at the door. 

It was a child. 

Well, maybe not a _child_ child- despite how short he was, he had to have been around Tommy's age. He knew he was taller than average around other kids. What made the kid look so strange to Tommy was just how pale he was. Nearly stark white skin, contrasting such dark and dirty locks. His eyes were wide, like a deer in a way, and almost as blue as Tommy's own. He wore such an oversized green button up, too, Tommy couldn't tell if he was just skinny or if the shirt was too large. It really hit him, though, to see him alone. 

Usually, it's always adults, old people, or tourists with young kids walking in. Anyone around his age was either forced to go inside or accompanying an older person, though they were almost always disinterested. Tommy understood, so was he at first. 

The boy seemed like he'd just stepped into Narnia with how mesmerized he looked. Tommy had to blink a few times, wondering just who this kid was, until those blue eyes met his own. 

It felt like time stopped. 

You know that feeling when you meet someone for the first time, but you recognize them instantly? The first eye contact, and you just know that they're someone you need to befriend. Someone you need to talk to. That's how Tommy felt, as the two teenagers stared at one another. 

Maybe that flicker in the shorter boys eye was that same feeling. Tommy didn't know. 

Once the second that felt like minutes ended, both boys looked away, though Tommy still glanced back. Just in case. The stranger was still looking over, but his in-awe look was replaced with a wide, friendly smile. Followed by a wave. Tommy had to process the action for a second before he finally snapped out of it. What was he doing? He's Tommy-fucking-Innit! Big man, confident, he had a plan to chat up the next customer that came in. He couldn't stall when he had nothing better to do. 

So, the blonde marched his way up to the front, a devilish look on his face. "Eeey, welcome! First time here? You don't look familiar, you're pro'lly new," Tommy began, hands on his hips in a leader-like pose. "You're lucky I'm here, I know this place best. I'm practically the owner of this dusty place, y'know. I'm the best in town, really." Not really, but the big man upstairs wasn't around to tell him otherwise. Not yet, at least. He didn't let the poor boy get a word in, though, before he continued speaking quickly. "So! What're you looking for? We've got almost everything here, name it and you got it! God, I'm such a good salesman, huh-"

Oh. The stranger was laughing. It was quiet, almost muffled- well, it was muffled, as his sleeve had been held up to cover his mouth. Anyone would assume he was laughing at the blonde's act, but for some reason, Tommy didn't. It almost felt good to know he made this kid laugh. But, when he realized Tommy had stopped talking, he instantly quieted down. He still hid behind the sleeve, though, Tommy could practically see the smile peeking out. 

"So-Sorry," finally, the kid stammered out a word. Still breathless from sudden giggles, but nonetheless, he spoke. "I just- it, uh, it looked nice in here, and- you look like you have-" The boy looked like he was trying to piece together the right puzzle. Trying to say the right thing. He settled with a hum after a second. "My name is Tubbo. Hi! You're right, I am new, I guess," he introduced himself with a slight nervousness, as if he was unused to doing so. "Just moved in, on the next street over actually."

Tommy didn't know why that information felt so important. The kid- _Tubbo_ , was going to be so close to him.

He grinned down at the boy. God, he really was so short, it was almost funny. "Tubbo? Odd name if you ask me," he mumbled, but there was no bite to it. Tubbo didn't seem to mind the thought anyways. "Name's Tommy! Big man of the house right, you don't gotta worry- I know this place like the back of me hand, both town and the shop." Tommy waved his hand to gesture at the shelves, as if he needed to act out his words. Before he could register his own actions, he was walking deeper into the store. Tubbo followed, as if it was only natural. "How old are you? You're quite small, I thought you were a child."

"Hey now- no!" The brunette huffed, almost looking annoyed, but no trace of seriousness was on his face. "I'm nearly sixteen, actually, just a few more months!" 

Tommy froze in his tracks, and stared at the other boy with wide eyes, filled with disbelief. "What the _fuck_ \- you're older than me? I've gotta wait 'till next year- that's bullshit!" He just about screeched, earning a triumphant laugh from Tubbo. "No, no no no, that can't be right. You're too short. I am not a child compared to you, you're just lying-" The laughter grew louder. Despite the youngest's outward anger, he felt pride build up in his gut. He made Tubbo laugh again. And he was smiling- he looked happy, smiling so much. 

The blonde crossed his arms, a childish pout gracing his lips. "If you're done being a bitch, what do ya want? Anything you're lookin' for?" He asked. Tubbo didn't seem to mind the apparent insult. He kept smiling. 

Before it drooped a little, turning into a softer expression. Thoughtful. It was a seconds beat before he spoke. "Music..." Those deer like eyes looked up, staring at the blonde with interest. "I mean- I really, really like music, um- records, my dads got one of them old fashioned record players, and- and instruments! I know how to play the ukulele, and piano!" He seemed to glow with pride as the information drops. Tommy can't help but return a smile. 

"You're just in luck, we've got it all." He nodded his head, and continued to walk. Tubbo continued to follow. "Phil- he's old, you know- Phil has so many old records boxed up. Pretty cheap too, you could buy like, ten of 'em for half the price of three brand new ones." Tommy rambled as he lead the boy to a shelf nearby. He only stopped to crouch and pull out a severely dusted box- he may or may not have forgotten to switch the discs into a fresher one- before pulling the flaps open. While particles flew back into the air, he presented the flat cases with a grin. "Ta-fuckin'-da! We've prolly got more in the back, too." Tommy looked back up to Tubbo, and stared as his pale face twisted in excitement, awe, curiosity, and more. Was he really so happy over some old people's record? It seemed so, because Tubbo practically bounced with emotion. 

"This is brilliant, oh my god- wait, here, lemme look- am I allowed to touch them?" As soon as Tommy gave him an affirmative nod, Tubbo dropped to his knees and began flicking through the cases, not without a flicker of dizziness flashing on his features. Only for a moment, however, as Tommy watched him forced the feeling down in favor of looking at the music. He scanned each and ever cover extremely carefully, as if he was looking for the smallest of details that would confirm a purchase from him. Most of them were in nicer casings, not necessarily brand new, but rarely taken out or abused. A steal, if you asked Tommy. 

It felt like hours of the two boys just looking through the box. Occasionally, Tubbo would pause and smile at one specific record, and set it aside. Tommy would ask him random questions- "What's your opinion on women? Are you really older than me? Who's your dad? You're quite short, yknow." And so on. It was things Tubbo could handle. His answers would be short, but filled with giggles and grins, as if Tommy was the most amusing person he's ever met. Of course he was, though, Tommy's amazing. 

It wasn't long until they were finished with the box, however. Tubbo's set-aside pile was only a few stacked, and although he said it was more than enough, Tommy insisted he'd get him more to look at. 

And by he'd get him more, he meant he'd call for his guardian. 

"Phiiiiiiiiil!" Tommy droned, his voice somehow louder than it already has been. A muffled 'yes, Tommy?' was heard seconds later, and said boy grinned. "Can you grab the box of records? The extras?" There had been no response. But not even a full minute later, someone emerged from the other side of the store, stalking towards them. 

Phil, the dirty blonde haired man wearing a green and white striped bucket hat. He didn't even look that old, much different to Tubbo's initial mental image of the man. Short, but not as quite as Tubbo, and wearing a green robe. He looked so...casual. He was also carrying a smaller box before he made it to the two teenagers, carefully propping it on the ground. "You're lucky it wasn't buried in there," Phil chuckled, ruffling his hand through Tommy's blonder hair. The boy grumbled at the affection, but welcomed it. 

When Phil realized that the new boy in the store was staring, he shined him a smile, retracting back from his son to squat to their level. "Welcome to the coven!" He offered a hand, and nervously the brunette took it to shake. Tommy furrowed his brows at the sudden mood change. "You've probably heard, but I'm Phil, the owner. You finding everything okay? Toms isn't bothering you too much, right?"

Tubbo blinked a bit, before shaking his head vigorously. "No! Um, no- he's been quite lovely, actually, thank you, um- I'm- my name is Tubbo, uh, Tubbo Schlatt, it's nice to meet you, sir." The boy stammered out. When Phil nodded patiently, Tubbo seemed to relax. "It- It's a really nice shop, my dad's friend recommended it, uh, he- he was right. Thank you for bringing these out-" 

Phil gave him a soft smile, before standing up straight again. "I'm glad you're having a good time. You're welcome back whenever you'd like, Tubbo. When he's ready to ring up, call me out Tommy." Before said boy had the chance to complain that he was man enough to work the register, Phil had left. Tubbo was still watching the man go when Tommy looked back at him. Then, the blonde puffed out his chest. 

"Like I said, he's quite old. It's weird." Tubbo seemed to break out of his awe-filled trance as Tommy spoke, looking back to the box. 

"He's nice..." The boy whispered gently, a smile growing on his face. "Uh- not- not that I assumed he wouldn't be, um- I don't like asking for things from strangers-"

Tommy just huffed, folding his arms over his chest. "Well, he ain't a stranger no more! Since you're my friend, that means Phil's gonna hafta like you. He's jealous of me, you know, 'cause I'm cooler than him. He's nice to people I talk to because he wants to be like me-" Tommy paused his ego. Tubbo was staring at him as if he'd grown a foot on his neck. Instantly, he squished his face in confusion and turned fully to the boy. "What?"

Tubbo didn't reply. Not instantly. But just as Tommy was about to speak again, Tubbo took his turn. 

"Friend?"

The word was so soft, so quiet in disbelief, Tommy almost didn't hear it. His confusion didn't disappear, however. "What about it? We're friends now, right?" Tubbo had to process it for a second, before he began nodding. The look on his face after he was done was something burned into Tommy's head. 

"Yeah! We're friends! Oh my god, this is so cool-" Tubbo laughed in glee, and Tommy had to reciprocate it. Was he really so happy because of this? 

Tommy wouldn't tell anyone this, but knowing Tubbo wanted to be friends with him as well made him just as excited. 

After he settled down, Tubbo began looking through the records again, quicker this time. Only one more was added to the pile. He did, however, take his time looking at each cover again. Tommy took this chance to talk his ear off again, rambling about useless information or prideful compliments towards himself. Tubbo listened. He talked back with him. He returned the playfulness when it came. It wasn't one sided glee, like Tommy was so used to. 

Tubbo understood him, his thought process. It'd only been a a little over an hour by the time they were done. Tommy felt like they'd been speaking nonstop for days. 

"I think this is enough," Tubbo said after a bit. His face dropped a little, though, and Tommy hated that. He wanted the smile back. "I didn't bring my money today, I was just planning on peeking." 

"Just steal 'em, I won't look-" Tommy joked with a loud, sudden laugh, earning a look from Tubbo. 

The boy shook his head, before hugging onto the records. "Do you....can you put these on hold for me? Or something like that? I-I promise I'll be back tomorrow, I'll buy them as soon as the shops open!" He promised, determination fired in his eyes. Tommy wanted him to come back to see _him_ again, though, not just for the records. He was sure Tubbo would stay. 

"'Course I can, no bitch will get your discs!" He announced, standing up from the dusty ground. Tubbo's face lit up with relief and joy, before mimicking the blonde's actions. Once he was stood, he paused for a moment, holding onto the shelf as if he'd fall down if he let go. It was a few seconds before he regained balance. Tommy didn't bring it up. "Here, I'll take 'em and keep 'em safe." Tommy held out his hands. Tubbo didn't hesitate when he placed the pile on them. "But! You have to promise to stay a while longer tomorrow. You can't just use me for my belongings then up and leave."

"I won't!" Tubbo answered quickly. He smiled once more at Tommy, and the blonde gave him his own wicked grin. "I really liked talking to you, Tommy. It was nice to meet you!" He said, and practically bounced in excitement as Tommy lead him to the door. "Tomorrow, as soon as I'm awake, I'll be here. You can count on it!"

Tommy watched Tubbo wave. He watched him walk out the door, swaying a little from the speed, before he marched down the sidewalk. Tommy watched the door until he couldn't see green anymore. Then, he turned, and walked to the front desk. He put the records on a shelf. He'll make sure to tell Phil later that if anyone sold those discs, he'd burn the shop down. 

The boy stepped back, propping his arms on the desk. It was so quite now. Wilbur was upstairs, since his part of the chores were done. Techno was rarely out in the main part of the shop. Phil was near, but for some reason, Tommy didn't feel like going to bother him. He felt calm, almost as if his energy had been used up in such a short time, despite it always stretching along all day. Maybe his energy was just bundled up, and replaced with a softer feeling in his chest. He was happy. He was excited. He looked forward to seeing him again. He wondered why, for a while. Tommy didn't usually get along with strangers so well. Maybe he just liked the change for once. 

Tommy smiled to himself, and watched the door, silently wishing it'd switch to the next morning right now. Just so Tubbo could come back. 

He just really liked having a friend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's all soft  
> for now :)  
> titles of the chapters will be names of songs that remind me of their relationship, btw!! lemon boy by cavetown is one of my favorites lmao


	2. Treehouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But I think we both knew, even then, that what we had was something even more rare, and even more meaningful. I was going to be his friend, and was going to show him possibilities. And he, in turn, would become someone I could trust more than myself.”  
> ― David Levithan
> 
> or  
> Tubbo kept his promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for the lovely response from chapter one! <333 to all of you who are afraid of me making you cry  
> don't be scared  
> accept it :)
> 
> chapter title today is 'treehouse' by alex g!

He kept his promise. 

Not that Tommy _wasn't_ confident that he'd show up again, no. Tommy was great. Of course he'd want to come back to him. 

That's totally the reason why he felt so relived, so _excited_ , when he heard the familiar ring of the doors bell so early in the morning. He practically raced to the front of the store, his face lighting up as soon as he saw the scuff of brown hair atop a pale face. 

The same face lit up when locking eyes with Tommy. Wilbur, who was stood at the front desk today, looked up with a smile. 

"Oh, welco-" He began, getting cut off by a victorious shout from his younger brother. The blonde boy had practically sped past the desk towards the newcomer, grinning wildly as he ushered him inside. It took a few seconds for the older man to process what was going on before sighing. "Tommy, please tell me you know him so I don't have to apologize to _another_ guest." Tommy looked up and pouted at his brother, offense written all over his face. 

"Of course I know him! Don't get jealous Wilby, but I've got more friends than you," the boy teased, and Wilbur rolled his eyes before just ignoring him in favor of the stranger. Tommy's whine at the lack of attention was just too good. The brunette waved to the other, a gentle smile on his features. "As I was saying, welcome. Don't let Toms drag you around too much," he said gently. Tubbo took a second to realize that this adult was speaking to him before letting out a quiet laugh. 

"No- No, he's not doing anything wrong. I've- I, uh, I've actually got something on hold to buy first?" He mentioned, almost meekly, and Wilbur just raised a brow at the boy. Usually, they didn't put anything on hold. First come first serve, really, it's always been like that. But Will watched as Tommy darted around the corner and into the register space, right next to Wilbur, and pulled out the records from the shelf. Wilbur sputtered for a second, and looked over the small pile. 

"Tommy-" "You've gotta ring these up for me, Phil said it's fine!" Tommy interrupted. Phil didn't actually have a say in it, when Tommy came running to the back to explain that his new friend had to come back the next day and if he didn't get his records saved Tommy would throw a tantrum. But Wilbur didn't need to know that. 

So, his brother just sighed, and rang up the few items. There was no point in refuting his stubborn younger brother. 

Tubbo had stepped closer, a hand gripping a long brown satchel as he reached for his money. It was wrinkled, and thrown together as if scavenged from under a couch. Once it was on the counter, and Will counted it fully, Tommy instantly took the discs back and ran back around to his friend. "Alright, lets go!" 

"Wait- go where?" Wilbur questioned in surprise, at the same time Tubbo let out a confused 'huh'. Tommy wrapped an arm around Tubbo's shoulders with ease, as if they've known each other for years. 

"Out, obviously!" He leered, grinning wider. "I'm showing Tubbo around town. He's knew, and I'm the best tour guide ever. Tell Phil I'll be home whenever I want, bitch!" 

He actually had a curfew for times like this. Tommy would never let that come to light, though.

Instead of arguing, Wilbur just sighed for what felt like the fifteenth time that morning, and waved the boys off. "Have fun- Tubbo, was it? Don't be afraid to make an escape if he gets too annoying. We'd all understand."

The smallest boys laugh mixed in with Tommy's angered whines, before his arm slung off of the former and took his hand to pull outside. As quickly as Tubbo had arrived, he was gone, alongside Tommy. Wilbur could only watch, and despite the headache he'd gain from his brother, he couldn't help but smile.

At least he was finally trying to make a friend. 

~~~~~~~~

The town was smaller than Tubbo imagined it'd be. 

Frankly, he'd never seen much else other than his new home and the street to the shop. He didn't- _couldn't_ \- walk too far, anyways. He shouldn't have been too surprised when they got through so much of the town in such short time. Tommy talked non-stop throughout the trip, mainly about random accomplishments or to point out buildings, and despite his distracted movements, he never walked too fast for Tubbo. Even when, without a proper explanation, Tubbo had to stop and catch himself before falling, or when he would feel dizzy and need to lean on a nearby wall for a second. Tommy didn't prod him for answers, he simply waited. Tubbo felt his worry lift from his shoulders every time. 

It was nice, to be able to go out without his father's worried face staring back every time they'd go out. As much as the pain meds helped in the morning, it was never enough for his dad. He wasn't upset about it, he just hated worrying him. Being with someone so carefree and, well, energetic- it was a breath of fresh air, really. He loved his dad, more than anything really, but he wished he didn't cause him so much trouble. 

Tommy waited until Tubbo was balanced once again, before his arm was taken into the taller boys hand, and he was dragged away once again. Tubbo let out a heart laugh, following without hesitence. It was fun. 

He followed until he was met with a large park. Besides a few residents walking alongside a graveled path nearby, it was practically empty. Tubbo raised a brow up at Tommy, who in return, smirked at the boy. 

"It's all old and shit and nobody felt like cleaning up all the broken shit, so people stopped showing up. More for us, though!" He exclaimed, leading the smaller boy to a small hill, past a barren playground. He had to step around pieces of plastic and wrappers, old branches and more. The grass was taller than most lawns, too. He wondered just how long it'd been abandoned. It could be such a lovely place, but if there weren't as many kids in town, maybe nobody felt the need to. It didn't sit right with Tubbo. 

Tommy didn't seem to mind, however, as they reached the top of the small hill. Tubbo had to stop to reel in the sight. 

There were a few trees on top, one had a small sign nailed to the bark, crooked and chipped paint covering the front, the words 'DO NOT ENTER' written messily with it. There was a broken mini fridge as well, not plugged into anything, but laid down on it's back as if it were a chest. Right by the edge of the hill, however, was a bench. One of the legs were broken, making it only slightly slanted. There was an old looking radio, as well as a few tapes left out around it. Tubbo stared at the sight before him, his blue eyes widened as he took everything in, his breathing stopped for just a second. 

It was, in short, breathtaking. Literally. Tubbo couldn't tell if he was in need of medical attention again or if he was just speechless. 

Tommy grinned at him, proud of his spot. There was an underlying nervousness, however, as if he'd just revealed the biggest state secret to the enemy. Or like Tubbo would look disgusted at the sight, or he'd share it with everyone he'd meet, or-

Tubbo let out a breath. He turned to meet Tommy's eye, bright excitement and wonder filling his features. "Tommy, this is- oh my god, surely you're- this is yours?" He rambled, stalking off to wander the little bit of land. "It's _beautiful_ , Tommy! How long have you had this?" He turned back to the taller boy, who flustered in response to the excitement. Relief, as well, overwhelmed him. 

He'd only met this boy yesterday. He was showing him his most private spot. What was wrong with him? 

Maybe, it was meant to be, when he saw just how happy Tubbo's sickly face grew. 

"As long as I've been here- this is my territory, nobody dares bother me here!" He bragged, puffing out his chest. "I practically own this park, anyways, and now we don't gotta worry about any ugly people annoying us." Tommy dropped to the dirt to open the broke fridge, pulling out tightly sealed cookies in plastic bags. After tossing one to Tubbo- who only nearly dropped it- he motioned to the bench. Tommy took the slanted side, leaving space for Tubbo on the other. Said boy sat down, opened his own bag, and stared out at the grassy park section before him. 

For once, he didn't feel weak, or dizzy, or tired. He felt so _alive_. 

"This...This is nice." He whispered only moments after. "Thank you for bringing me here. It's a lot nicer than my room right now, we're still unboxing. It's....a nice change." He turned his head to face the blonde, his grin wider than ever. If only his dad could see him like this. "Can we hang out again? Tomorrow maybe? I-I'm homeschooled, so I have more time-"

Tubbo was cut off when Tommy scoffed, and the pit of fear in his stomach lasted for no less than a second. "Of course we'll hang out, dumbass! You got discord? I'll give you my discord and we can-"

"I don't have a phone-"

"-chat about meeting up whenever." Tommy huffed, before blinking. "You- what? What do you mean? Everyone's got a phone!" Tommy turned to face him fully. Tommy wasn't allowed to even leave the house without his phone on him, incase anything ever happened. 

Tubbo just shrugged, however, looking at the dirt on his shoe. "Can't afford it, one phone is already a lot of money- the only reason we moved is because my dads friends with the buildings owner, I think. It's cheaper! He said he'll try for my birthday, though!" Tubbo suddenly beamed at the thought, and Tommy had to take in the information for a second. 

There was a lot about this boy, Tommy realized, that he wanted to know. He's already learned so much in such a short time, but he just...needed _more_. He _wanted_ to know more. Tommy was quiet for a second, before he popped a cookie in his mouth and huffed. "Well, make it quick! Hurry up and get older so we can do fun shit." He grumbled, muffled by the pastry. Tubbo let out a small, quiet laugh, and nodded at the ground. 

"I'll try for you, Tommy," he whispered. And like that, there was a peaceful silence. It wasn't awkward, like either of them would expect. The wind blew, and Tubbo leaned back into the benches wooden. 

And he relaxed. 

It was that moment, Tommy knew, he wanted to keep Tubbo around. It was that moment that Tubbo realized he wouldn't have to spend every day inside bland walls or hospital beds. They both knew, that _this_ was something they both needed. 

_Each other._

It doesn't take long for some people to realize they've met the very person they liked the most. Two friends, meant to be by each others side, met only by chance when one walked into an old shop. Tubbo didn't regret his pleas to go out alone that morning. Tommy didn't regret the quick attachment he felt when Tubbo walked in. Tommy's stone walls were breaking down, and Tubbo held the pickaxe. He didn't want to stop him. He wanted to help those walls break. 

But he didn't know if he could handle it. Had he known just how dangerous opening his heart up to this fawn like enigma that entered his life like a storm would be right now, he'd have kept those walls up.

Right now, he was blissfully unaware of the rain approaching. 

"Hey, Toms?" Tubbo's voice broke him from his own thoughts, willing him to look over. However, the owner of the voice wasn't even looking back. The brunette was staring at the sky, with a soft, shy little smile. Tommy only hummed in acknowledgement, prodding him to continue. He did. "I don't think I'm ready to go yet, not anymore..."

At that, the blonde had to blink, thinking about what to say back. He's never done that before. "Anymore...? What d' you mean?"

Tubbo's smile widened as he finally turned to look back at his friend. His _best_ friend. And the boy looked brighter than ever. "For the first time, I'm happy having fun. I'm not scared to go out anymore. I really like hanging out with you, so I want to stay a little longer. You'll be my friend for just a little longer, right?"

Tommy didn't hesitate to say yes.

~~~~~~~~

Tubbo's words echoed in his head, though, even hours after they'd left the park. Parting ways at the store, Tommy walked back inside his home at noon, making a beeline to his room before falling back onto his bed. _Anymore_ , echoing through his head. _Just a little longer_. What did he mean? Tommy should have asked him earlier, he knew that, but Tubbo looked so calm in that moment. Tommy didn't dare ruin the mood. Even when he began cracking jokes and overbearing the silence with breathy laughs, he never ruined the understanding the two boys had. 

Tommy liked being alone. He didn't at the same time. He hated the feeling of relying on someone. He hated clinging. Which is why he loved his bench so much. It was quiet, and nobody could hurt him there. 

But he hated the loneliness that came with it. He hated not having someone to talk to. Tubbo filled that void, but he hated it at the same time. 

The vulnerability that came with relying on another person. 

Tommy didn't yell when Phil entered his room some time after he got home. He didn't look up when his guardian sat on the edge of the mattress. He didn't look away from the ceiling.

"...dad?" Tommy began quietly. "Do- Do you ever feel...scared? Like if you- when you meet someone, you're worried they're going to leave you? Do you ever get scared that you'll get hurt if you let them go?" Tommy closed his eyes, laying his arm over his face to further encase his vision in the dark. "I'm- I'm asking for a friend, obviously-"

Phils hand rested on Tommy's unmoved one. The blonde peeked out to look at his father, who was giving him a patient smile. "More than you'd think, kiddo," he admitted without shame. "I feel the exact same when it comes to you. And Will, and Techno." Phil squeezed Tommy's hand carefully. His son relaxed in the grip, ever so slightly. "Tell your friend that it's okay, to feel like that. Because, there's a higher chance that the person they're afraid of losing feels the exact same. And they should cherish the time they have with this person." 

Tommy stared at his dad, before forcing out a scowl. "That's so fucking cheesy, boring- you're so old you probably read that in the newspaper-" 

The older man let out a hearty chuckle, and Tommy sat up on the bed with a grumble. He didn't move his hand away from Phils. 

"If you're so 'old and wise', then- then what should I- my friend, what should they do if they want to ask someone....something personal. But they don't want to make the person upset, even though they're worried."

Phil hummed in thought, before moving his hand to ruffle Tommy's messy blonde locks. "Ask anyways. Sometimes, it's okay to get personal. It makes you feel better afterwards, because you know how to help them."

Tommy growled at the affection. He'll refuse the way he leaned into the touch until the day he dies. 

"That's dumb. I'll give 'em my own advice, I'm so much better at it," he leered, not pulling away as his dad wrapped his arms around his lanky body. He fell into the embrace, mumbling useless insults under his breath. 

He'll ask Tubbo about what he meant another day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3

**Author's Note:**

> it's all soft  
> for now :)  
> titles of the chapters will be names of songs that remind me of their relationship, btw!! lemon boy by cavetown is one of my favorites lmao


End file.
